That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
