I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
