i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize