Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
