Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
