it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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