Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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