Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
