Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
