talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
