I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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