I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
