I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my shit smells like andre
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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