hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
