ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
