Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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