You're my little dorito
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
