don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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