I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize