I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
