thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
