i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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