Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
