maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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