Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
