I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
