So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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