How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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