So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
