I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
