Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize