Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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