girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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