I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
