You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
