I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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