The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
