3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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