I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
