someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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