I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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