Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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