if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
