gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wish there were birth control emojis
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
