6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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