I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
