we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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