is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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