so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
