so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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