the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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