you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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