Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
