At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My boob is missing a layer of skin
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
