what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was born a porn star she said
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
