please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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