Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm eating all of the evidence.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
