Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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