Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
