It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
