TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
