I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
