I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
