she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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