so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
